“I used to think Barbara would make a good candidate for
Robert,” Cleo announced from the depth of her duvet as Gary jumped out of bed
to gather up PeggySue and give her breakfast. But I’ve changed my mind. Joe and
Barbara have found one another.
“And you don’t need to play cupid for Robert, either, my
love.”
“He isn’t. He’s just erotically stunted,” said Gary.
“What’s that?“
“You know. Inhibited. That teenage marriage was probably at
the peak of his sexual prowess. But he has a new flame and she could help him
to regenerate after Edith’s shocking inroads into his self-esteem.”
“How do you know all that?”
“A guy has a sixth sense about such things,” said Gary.
Cleo threw her pillow at him.
“The hell you do, Gareth,” Cleo said. “You are as thick as a
brush when it comes to romance.”
“PeggySue is still asleep. Move over. I’m coming back to bed
and call me Gareth only on pain of death. As for romance…”
The twosomeness did not last long. Within a couple of minutes
there were seven of them in that bed.
“I just don’t believe this,” said Gary.
“They are nearly all yours, Sweetheart,” said Cleo.
“Yes Daddy. We are giving you some love back then you can
give it to Mummy.”
“I suppose love is like murder in the end,” said Gary. “It’s
all a question of interpretation and whose side you are on. Get the breakfast
going, girls. I’m on my way.”
With those words Gary leapt out of bed, slipped into his
jogging gear and made for the kitchen. Before doing so he risked a pillow fight
by declaring “Sorry, Mistress Cleopatra. Our lovin’ will have to wait.”
“I’ll get the twins ready for their day instead,” said Cleo.
“Grit should be over soon.”
“And my brother. I wonder if Barbara is still there. I gave
her and Mia the rest of the day off after their reports are written.”
“Very perspicacious. I’m quite sure she is still there.”
“I hope he doesn’t make such a mess of courting as I did.”
“I thought you did rather well considering that you were
still married,” said Cleo.
“I thought you’d say that.”
***
Breakfast was lively with a houseful of munchers and
crunchers. Lottie was wide-eyed with surprise when her father appeared with
Barbara.
“Did you sleep together?” she asked.
Roger and Grit, who had joined the party, wondered if the
question was directed at them.
“I mean Daddy and Barbara,” said Lottie.
“Yes we did,” said Joe.
“Thank goodness for that,” said Lottie.
“Why?” said Grit.
“Now I can be sure that Sonia won’t be coming back,” said
Lottie.
“Who is Sonia?” Barbara asked.
Lottie did not let her father reply.
“She was my class teacher in South Africa. She came here
with me, but Daddy sent her home again and he did not sleep with her.”
“That’s enough, Lottie,” said Joe. “You can’t go telling
everyone private things like that.”
“Sorry, Daddy. I didn’t like her, either.”
Charlie and Lottie left the table. They would play with the
little ones for a while.
Joe wanted to apologize for his daughter, but they all
thought it was rather amusing.
“Just carry on regardless, Joe,” said Gary. “Charlie is just
as forward and she will have put Lottie up to that little scene.”
“I’m not sure I can live with that kind of directness from a
thirteen year-old.”
“Never mind,” said Barbara. “I think I can say for us all
that we found the repartee amusing. Farmers and growing offspring have to know
the nitty-gritty about life. Joe is going with me to my parents then he’ll know
what I mean.”
“I expect your parents will think we’d made a good start,”
said Joe.
“Dorothy would declare that as a dress rehearsal, Joe,” said
Cleo.
“Like the trial run of my Cop’s Corner rag next week,” said
Joe. “I’m doing portraits of Bertie Browne, Mia and Barbara for my who’s who,
and that was before Barbara and I got together. Oh, and I’ve started sketches
of that awful trio we dealt with last night. By the time all the circumstances
are known, I’ll be able to put them in the next issue, I hope.”
“This is all fascinating stuff, but I’ll have to get going,”
said Gary. “You have a free weekend, Barbara.”
“Do I? I thought I had to write that report.”
“Tomorrow will do. That idea was before you took pity on my
brother, Barbara.”
“Correction: Fell in love,” said Barbara with the same
directness as Cleo.
“I hope you know what you’re letting yourself in for, Joe.
You can see where it got me.”
“I can’t wait,” said Joe.
“We could visit your parents today, Barbara, of that’s OK
with you? I need to find out if they approve of me,” said Joe.
“Is that important?”
“It is if I’m going to marry you, Barbara.”
“You haven’t asked me yet.”
The audience waited with baited breath.
“Will you?”
“I will, Joe.”
“That’s OK then, but first we have to take Dog out.”
“We can take him with us, Joe. Why is his name Dog?”
“Because he’s a dog and because I did not have to want to call
out ‘Emanuel’.”
“But you’ll get used to the logic, Barbara. I did.”
The threesome left for a farm somewhere in the region where
Dog could really run about. The Fielding family had a pond, too.
Roger announced that he was going food-shopping for the
weekend since the coffers were empty. Cleo said she would stay with the
children if Grit wanted to go with him and shop for everyone. She did.
Gary was amazed at the Joe he had just witnessed. His
brother was a step further up the ladder of truth and consequences than he was.
The girls were dying to chew things over. After all, Barbara was going to be
Lottie’s new mother. They announced that they were going to Helen’s again to
colour drawings.
“Do you like Barbara, Lottie?” Gary asked.
“I’ll love her if she loves my Daddy,” said Lottie.
“And she loves you already, Lottie.,” said Cleo. “I could
see that in her eyes.”
***
That left the three little ones, Cleo and Gary.
“I’ll have to go into HQ,” said Gary. “But not for an hour
or so. Is there anything I can do for you before I go?”
“You could try a little TLC,” said Cleo. “I’ll put the
little ones in the playpen.”
***
Later, the TLC on the living-room sofa out of sight of the
playpen having been what Cleo described as ‘sensational but naughty’, Gary was
dressing for the office when the phone rang.
It was Nigel.
“Frank is waiting for you here, Gary.”
“Hasn’t he been operated on?”
“Only tests done. He looks OK to me.”
“I’ll be at HQ in half an hour.”
***
“There’s a rumour going round about Barbara Fielding and
Joe,” Nigel announced.
“Were you in bed with them, Nigel? They’ve only just found
each other.”
“Old women and gays know how the world works, Gary.”
“I just hope Frank tells us about his world.”
“He told me he was innocent.”
“Innocent of what?”
“Everything.”
“Makes us an espresso, Nigel. I’m going to need it.”
“A hard night’s work, Gary?”
“You could put it like that. Cleo drugged me with rum-laced
cocoa.”
“That sounds like happy families.”
“But before that we sewed up the Kelly murder.”
“Greg told me it is more of an open than shut case.”
“Don’t spoil my morning with too many truths, Nigel.”
***
“Good Morning, Frank,” said Gary an hour later at HQ. “Did
you escape from the hospital or did they let you go?”
“I’m OK except for being a suspect,” said Frank. “I’ve had
time to think about things.”
“Things like Kelly’s brothel, Frank?”
“So you know about that, do you?”
“That’s where you met Rita. You had sex with the lady who
told me that.”
“Edith. I might have known.”
“Right in one.”
“Rita wanted more than she got, Gary.”
“But Edith had fun, Frank. Tell me about the drugs, or
rather the flour cache.”
“I did not know about any of that. I was knocked out as soon
as I entered that back room.”
“I’m trying to believe you, Frank. How did you get to know
the Nortons?”
Nigel served the coffee before retiring to his corner to
make notes.
“They phoned me.”
“Because you were working for the Hartley Agency?”
“They thought I would be useful,” said Frank.
“And were you?”
“Not useful enough. I assume that’s why they wanted me out
of the way.”
“But whoever was sent to kill you slugged you instead.”
“And set fire to the house,” said Frank. “A perfect plan if
the fire brigade had not turned up so fast.”
“But too elaborate for just getting rid of you, Frank. The
Nortons don’t tick like that.”
“That’s a relief, I suppose.”
“The only thing that really bothers me is that you were
either knocked out in the night and could not see who did it, or you know who
it was because it happened shortly before the fire. Rita discovered that fire
at about 7:30 in the morning, so it was daylight.”
“I don’t suppose the arsonist knew that some women like to
have their hair crimped before breakfast.”
“Luckily for you, Frank, except that we have no idea who
called the fire brigade and will probably never know.”
“I think there must have been two assassins at work, Gary. I
should be flattered.”
“That’s what I think, too. The first one reported that you
were unconscious but alive. The second one was sent to finish off the job and
settled for arson.”
“Or it was the same gangster come back to finish the job.”
“That’s also possible, Frank. Who was it?”
“I swear I don’t know.”
“Find out. You are in acute danger if you don’t. Whoever it
was might not be as circumspect next time.”
Frank was alarmed. The 24/7 guard on his hospital room might
have saved him from being killed there, but he did not have anyone to protect
him now.
“I’m getting out,” said Frank.
“You’d better. And fast.”
“Does that mean that you believe me?”
“I’m inclined to. Let me know where you are.”
“I will. And thanks.”
“Don’t thank me, Frank. Thank Cleo. She thinks you were
framed.”
“You mean that the drugs were planted to implicate me?”
“Exactly. Escort Mr Wetherby to the exit, Nigel!”
***
“So it as was simple as falling off a log,” Gary reported to
Cleo when he phoned shortly after.
“It hasn’t solved anything though,” she said. “Try Rita! She
may have something relevant to say.”
“I’m coming home,” said Gary. “Frank could have implicated
Rita, but he didn’t.”
“That doesn’t mean she’s innocent.”
“It probably means she isn’t, but I’m not ruining the
weekend with dark thoughts.”
“I’ll make you another rum-laced cocoa. It worked
beautifully last night.”
“Make it rum and coke, Cleo. I don’t need the soporific
effect of cocoa.”
“Hurley. You are the limit!”
“That’s exactly what I wanted to know,” said Gary.
***
“I could get to like this,” said Gary, sipping the rum and cocoa
Cleo had nonetheless made for him.
“You haven’t solved the Pooth crime or Rita’s, Gary. No need
to be complacent.”
“Unsolvable,” said Gary. “Some crimes are destined to remain
unsolved, and those are the ones we know about. Then we just let sleeping dogs
lie. Like Dog here. Do we own him now?”
“I got a phone-call from my mother,” said Cleo.
“Aha! Has she decided where she’s going to live next?”
“At your apartment if the offer was serious.”
“It was.”
“Can you help her to move there next weekend?”
“I suppose I’ll have to. Where is she now?”
“I’ve made up the bed in our tiny guestroom, Gary. She’ll
sleep here until she can move.”
“What happened to Gabriel?”
“Mother says he’s a swine. She prefers Romano after all, but
she is not sure how to go back to him.”
“Do I take it that I’m to pave the way for the grand
reunion?”
“I think that’s what she wants.”
“Any more cocoa?”
“No more rum,” said Cleo.
“I don’t mind whisky. When does the cocoa run out?”
“So will you do it?”
“Anything to get her out of this house and get a smile back
on Romano’s face,” said Gary.
“I knew I could count on you, Sweetheart.”
***
“Before we consign our unsolved cases to the archive, I
should mention that Pooth might have been helped by the Nortons to the pearly
gates, since they had the best motive and are past masters at getting rid of
anyone they can’t use, whereas Frank is still running free and a found object
for any assassin who might still be on the lookout,” said Gary.
“Is that a warning against hiring him again?”
“Emphatically, yes.”
“Then I won’t,” said Cleo.
“I’m not happy about Rita’s fire and Frank’s near escape,
Cleo.”
“That’s how unsolved cases find their way into the archives,”
said Cleo. “It’s stalemate until something turns up at a later date.”
“You’re right, my love. There is simply no way of finding
them.”
“I think Frank would have told you if he had recognized one
of them. They’re after him, after all.”
“I wouldn’t like to be in his shoes,” said Gary.
“You aren’t wearing any,” said Cleo.
“As observant as ever,” said Gary.
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